It's been rather a long time since I obsessed about a book as much as I do for The Fault In Our Stars at the moment. True, I recently got obsessed about The Hunger Games last year and almost got into fights for purchasing The Twilight Saga in hardbound in bookstores in Davao but they do not just quite impact my life as much as this book is affecting me right now.

Not a lot of the books I have read in the past three years had made me ask philosophical questions I never knew I was even capable of conceiving. It may sound a bit overreative and all, but the book made me reassess my life again (sounds redundant, yes?). It's just really amazing how a book with all its paper pages has the power to change a point-of-view, or even an entire life. Of course it is reckless and pretty immature to conclude that my principles and life-view have changed just because of the book (well I have this inevitable, annoying problem about feeling like the person in the book and the aftermath goes on even after I am done reading the book) but I'd bravely declare that it has affected me somehow.

Needless to say, the book was amazing! You'd laugh, you'd cry and you'd expererience emotions you do not likely experience on normal days. I am still hungover at how awesome the storytelling is. It is one of the literary pieces I am thankful to have existed. I can't say it quite gets me because I really can't (primarily because I am not suffering from an acute disease nor have I actually fallen in love before which is pretty pathetic because I'm well, 20. haha!). One thing I could say though is even if the book doesn't get me, in a ridiculously weird, unexplainable way, I quite get it.

Well anyway, the story is from the point-of-view of a brave 16-year-old girl named Hazel Lancaster who's in a war against lung cancer and she meets and falls in love with a hot, 17-year-old amputee named Augustus Waters who is fighting bone cancer. I know it sounds quite typical and even cliched and unworthy of such praise, but bear with me on this. Together, they share their insights, perceptions, principles and what-nots about life and death and books and travel to the Netherlands meet their favorite author in an attempt to find out what happens in an unfinished story that's been puzzling Hazel for years. Well of course, a lot of other stuff happened throughout the book. Bottomline is, it made me ask myself if I had been actually living or busy dying all this time? And then there's this thing about "if you you don't live a life in service of a greater good, you've gotta at least die a death in service of a greater good". There, I am quoting Augustus Waters, whom, by the way, I have recently fallen in love with.

Overall, the book took me on a journey, just like any book. The difference is that I was taken on a beautiful, philosophic journey that made me appreciate my life even more. I know I've said it always ask myself about how I've been spending my time, but perhaps the greater question that's been running through my head is, "WHERE THE HELL CAN I FIND AUGUSTUS WATERS?!" God is he amazing! Well, that's the power of fiction, they can make someone so flawlwess one cannot help but fall in love only to be left with a broken heart because the character is, (boo!) just fiction.

xx,

Kimberly

P.S. I don't want to sound pathetic to actually say this, but as I was reading the book, I got quite jealous at Hazel for finding a guy to discuss books and poems with. I've had, all my life, always wanted to meet someone whom I could share intellectual and insightful conversations with, especially about books. I've never met a guy (who isn't gay or a douche who just pretended to read to impress) who like to read  before and I guess that's why I'm still single. Haha!

Slow down you crazy child. You're so ambitious for a juvenile; but if you're so smart then tell me why are you still so afraid?

So I just want to rant about how I have been seriously wasting my summer, so far at least. I've been back in my beautiful hometown of Mati for over three days already and I have done nothing interesting by far, no scratch that, I have done nothing at all by far (well, not unless you count sleeping, surfing the internet, slacking and raiding the refrigerator every three minutes as actual activities).

I am seriously wasting my youth. "Y.O.L.O, remember?" I have to remind myself this all the time and then I still go back to slacking my life away. That's almost four days of my life wasted - four freaking days I can never get back.

I really want to hit the beach but I unfortunately don't have a ride or at least anyone to go with, the beach is too far away from our place, y'know! Another thing I am very upset about right now is the fact that we are parent-less for two days because my mom and dad decided to become their selfish selves and leave us alone to fend for ourselves just so they could go on an island adventure with their friends! How selfish could parents get? My baby brother seriously begged in an attempt to go with them but my mom won't let him because she is hard-ass selfish! I don't care though, I just thought of it as a break - almost two days off from my mom's annoying nags and loud voice.

But seriously now, I really want to do something amazing with my life, even at least just for the summer. I want to travel. I want to explore. I want to live!

I will write a dream travel itinerary very soon (and given the vast free time I have, it'd be really soon) and include my list of the summer destinations I'm dying to be perhaps with photos!

Sorry for the unnecessary rants.

xx,

Kimberly

When I was still in high school, I always knew that Psychology was the only choice and so unlike most people off to college, I never really had any difficulty choosing a program for me.

Well, four years after, this is me! Ready for the real world! Well, not really. I still have medical school to conquer next. Honestly, I have been contemplating on what career path to choose after college. I have a lot of options, really. Of course, I could opt to find a job and start earning, or enroll in a law school, oe of course, the option on a pedestal: medical school. My parents always remind me that they are 100% supportive of my career choice as long as I choose what I am passionate of because that I how I would find fullfillment in the future.

To be really honest, I don't know what I want. I think law school would be an easier choice since I as most people know, I am a very outspoken and logical person, plus, that is where I am most exposed to. On the other hand, medical school is where I want to see myself. I have always been wanting to become a doctor and work in (a) hospital(s). One thing is for sure right now though, I am so not really to get a job.

Here's to hoping I make up my mind really soon! (before all the medical schools and law schools close down on receiving applications)

xx,

Kimberly

A "mababaw" bliss for a giddy fangirl like me.

Time check: 2:16AM of April 1, 2012 (yes, it is an April Fool's Day, apparently)

I was trying my best to sleep earlier than usual since I was planning on running my errands, or should I saying cramming, in preparation for Moday's baccalaureate mass today because I'm a lazy ass like this.

Well anyway, that is not necessarily my point here so let's just skip discussing about my laziness because I would just catapault myself in personal disappointment. Just about five minutes ago, I made a collage photo. This:

Dear Robi Domingo, if you ever read this, which you probably never will, I just want you to know that I could not be prouder of you and what you have achieved. I admire you to the core even if I do not know you. I die for the moment to finally get to know you (although I would probably get past this by the time that even happens). How do you do it? Being so perfect in my eyes, well even a little too perfect. Continue on radiating inspiration to people like me because you are doing a hell of a good job at it, or at least that's what my obssession of you has made me believe. I know I am just some random fan girl you would most probably never even know but at least my anonymity (or invisibility-close-to-nonexistence) keeps me on the safe spot and heck, I've grown comfortable marveling over your awesomeness from where I'm at anyway. You are blessed with the best things life has to offer and in my opinion, you deserve every single one of them. Congratulations on everything you're achieving!

P.S.

This is not a love letter, though. Just for the record, Haha

xx,

Kimberly

I spent the last two nights with my lifetime barkada "Ogetches". It feels really great because we haven't really got to spend time togather in the past year and I haven't even realized how much I have truly missed them. It feels that I see some of them on random occasions and places and we just say casual hellos but seriously, they we are great friends.

It felt so euphoric to finally spend time together and for the ten of us to finally be together in one place! College has really taken its toll on our schedules and we've never really had some time to spend together so it was refreshing to finally spend some quality time together after too long!

xx,

Kimberly

...I didn't. And it sucked.

Today, I turned down a big opportunity and I felt stupid afterwards. I got offered to represent my school in a city-wide essay writing competition for the Araw ng Dabaw where students from the different universities and colleges from Davao are to compete. Of course it was a big deal and to be offered such, it was overwhelming.

Unfortunately, I chickened out. I guess I felt like the opportunity was bigger than myself. I love writing, obviously, but I do not think I write well enough to even represent my school.

One of the things I hate about myself is that I always get overwhelmed by the feeling of not being good enough and sometimes even feeling like I don't deserve the things I get. I know I always show people that I'm confident and all, and often times, I am, but on certain times, especially when I make a big deal out of things, I usually feel incompetent and scared.

Just this morning, I contemplated on some random quote about having regrets over the things you didn't do more than those mistakes you did and this can be counted as one of them.

One of my professors once said that we should always take in every opportunity we can get because it may only come in once. Today, I wasted one of mine.

xx,

Kim